Life and How To Live It

Political Machinations for a New Generation

2008-12-29T04:20:00.002-06:00

Oh the foes will rise
With the sleep still in their eyes
And they'll jerk from their beds and think they're dreamin'.
But they'll pinch themselves and squeal
And know that it's for real,
The hour when the ship comes in.

Over the past year I have watched as friends all around me have become energized and excited about the political process in ways that they never have before. Most of my friends have been politically aware for as long as I have known them, but I have not seen them invested in the way they were during this political season. On campus at Ole Miss, the students in the theatre department were constantly wearing Obama stickers; the faculty were bringing political speeches into the classroom for performance evaluation (and I imagine that the response was stronger for Obama for more reasons than the fact that he is a much stronger speaker than McCain); and some faculty are beginning to try to format the upcoming season as a reaction to Obama’s election. At the end of rehearsals, when the cast and crew’s cars were the only ones left in the parking lot, it was a sea of Obama bumper stickers. Facebook profile pictures became Obama pins. The media was constantly profiling the youth’s engagement in the political process and their excitement about the Obama candidacy. I work in a liberal environment inside a liberal environment. The support of the Obama ticket was not a surprise. However the level of excitement, the commitment and the passion for his candidacy was.

I consider myself an analytical person. I can understand why Democrats will support their candidate. I can understand why Republicans will support theirs. This political season was different. And, while I did not feel strongly about either candidate, I was uneasy with the excitement manifested through the campaign. I had a difficult time believing in “change.” I did not trust McCain. People who I respect (and that is not easily gained) felt very differently. They were stridently behind Obama’s candidacy. I still do not fully understand why so many people were so invested in the campaign, but I believe that I finally understand why it concerns me so.

I recently finished Wicked Messenger: Bob Dylan and the 1960’s by Mike Marqusee. In the book Marqusee examines Dylan’s role in the political movements that sprung up, or were strengthened in the 1960’s. He looks at how Dylan’s songs influenced the counterculture and how it offered strength to revolutionist groups throughout the decade. Dylan largely separated himself from these organizations as his music began being co-opted by these “movements.” Marqusee argues that Dylan was uncomfortable being associated with any one group and believed that once the ideas were used by these organizations they lost their meaning. His songs and ideas were not about commercializing the freedom that he sang about, they were, instead, about personal gains. It is a dichotomy that Dylan seems to continue to struggle with to this day based on his writings in Chronicles: Volume One. It has to be difficult to sing for freedom, but once the message has been latched onto by the masses (probably the only way that lasting change will be affected), you find it loses its authenticity and therefore its strength. The passion of the middle class, white, elite youth of the time undermined the resonance of the songs. They were as much the Mr. Jones’s that he sings about as were their parents. History has largely proved this out as the radicals are now the mainstream. The freedom that they had fought for was their own, not the disenfranchised. They wanted freedom from guilt. Guilt for being privileged. Admittedly, some of these analyses (especially the revolutionary’s motivations) are my thoughts, not Marqusee’s.

While reading this book I realized the difference between the activists in the 1960’s and the activists involved so heavily in this past election. They are largely the same age, economic and racial class. However, what separates the youth (and I include people in their 30’s as youth since I am now in that age range) then from today is that then they were protesting for an overhaul of government. They wanted a break from how things are done. They wanted a new world order. They fashioned themselves off of similar political movements seen in France, Italy, Japan, England, Chile and Germany at the time. They were not content to support the Democratic candidate who promised change or the Republican candidate who promised to lead them through the war. They wanted the government overthrown. When they demonstrated at the Democratic National Convention in Chicago in 1968 it was in part because the anti-war candidate, Eugene McCarthy, was not going to win the nomination. The larger part was a condemnation of the fallacy of a government that is run by these people at all. The protestors had not put their faith in Robert Kennedy. The mainstream “liberals,” much derided in the counterculture press of the day, supported Kennedy. The radicals did not. The repudiation of the process was because these people were not represented anywhere in the government. Their passion was for a new government that was of the people, not of the privileged few. This can be traced back musically to Woody Guthrie (and beyond), a Leftist and Marxist who had a great influence on Dylan and many others.

This year, that same passion appears to have been present. The conditions are similar. The country has been engaged in a long fought war with no end in sight and no definitive way to “win” the battle. The approval ratings for the President are at an all time low and the majority wants someone who will pull us out of Iraq. While in 1968 the majority was not yet ready to pull out of Vietnam, the vocal youth was long ready to be gone. This year, these factors played into the passion that we witnessed during the election cycle. However, instead of being passionate about radically overhauling the government, the people were passionate about a candidate who is very much a part of the system. This is where my concerns come in. There is nothing about Barack Obama, or any major party candidate for that matter, that suggests to me that “Change” is in their best interest, much less that of their party. Aside from personal motivations, I do not know that a politician from within the system can effect change in this way. They have too many people demanding too much of them. Too many forces pulling them in too many different directions. This is not meant to condemn Obama. I do not envy anyone in the White House at the moment. I fear that regardless of who won the election, their term would be wrought with challenges unlike any we have seen in my lifetime.

Ultimately, I wanted that passion, energy and excitement to rally behind major governmental reform. Long lasting reform. I was uncomfortable in this election cycle not because I did not feel strongly about the candidates (which I did not), but rather because so many did and I felt that it could have been directed at something more meaningful. If a third party were introduced to the public and supported with the fervor that Obama’s candidacy was, we could fundamentally change the politics of the country. Since I have been able to vote, there has not been a major party candidate who has represented me. I need a third option. We could have had that this year. Instead, I see a culture, my culture, that threw their overwhelming support behind the system that they want to radically change. I cannot understand this. Is it the complacency that I see in myself manifested on an incredible scale? Is it simply easier to unflaggingly support a major party candidate because that groundwork has been laid? Have we given up our rights to be represented and instead settle for the better of two establishmentarian candidates? Or, do these people who I have such great respect for actually believe that Obama is bigger than the machine that he has been a part of?

Throughout the election cycle I felt great unease with the energy I felt from those around me. Ultimately, I believe that Obama was the better choice of the two. But, wouldn’t it have been even more exciting to put that energy toward something outside of the system, someone who would be change, not just promise to enact it? Wouldn’t it have been amazing to change our system so that in subsequent years we are not faced with the lesser of two evils, instead being presented with multiple viable options? The passion that I have witnessed this year could have been directed in a way that could have rid America of its unintended two party system.

In the 1960’s the youth movement strove for something completely different. They wanted a new leadership. They wanted equanimity amongst people; they wanted diplomacy; they wanted healthcare and food and the essentials that America stands for for every individual. They protested and marched and fought (right here on the campus of Ole Miss) for equal rights in voting, in schooling, in marriage for everyone. They recognized that these goals could not be reached within the existing system. They wanted a new system for a new generation. One that represented their goals. I witnessed similar calls for action this year. A great deal has changed in forty years. Obama would not have been elected in 1968 for many of the reasons that Dylan sang about. However, do we really believe that the machinations of politics has changed that radically?

I am excited by the passion displayed this year. I am dismayed that it was directed within the system. I finally understand the feelings I was experiencing, and continue to experience (how can anyone live up to the idealistic image being painted of Obama). I worry that whatever positive steps he takes, they will be undermined as being insufficient. I am concerned that any incoming President would be faced with a no-win situation. Please do not read this as a question of Obama himself. I am cynical of all politicians within the current two party system. Instead I am questioning whether the energy and enthusiasm was properly placed. Not because of the candidate, but because of the system.

Many of you who will read this are those that I respect and are fervent supporters of Obama. Please help me understand from your perspective.

Then they'll raise their hands,
Sayin' we'll meet all your demands,
But we'll shout from the bow your days are numbered.
And like Pharaoh's tribe,
They'll be drownded in the tide,
And like Goliath, they'll be conquered.

“When the Ship Comes In” Bob Dylan – 1963

The Year in Review - August

2008-12-28T22:34:00.002-06:00

August: August was very much a continuation of July. While I was technically on break from the University, I continued to have bi-weekly meetings on the upcoming debate events. It was during this time that the specific requirements of each event came into clearer focus and small details like where to park generators and satellite trucks (that somehow escaped everyone but myself) came to the forefront of the discussion. Having a plan in place for the labor needs of each event (assuming the students were available and willing) we began to plan specific times for load-in / out as well as rehearsal as needed. The people who I was coordinating with were in way over their heads (even more than I was). The office that had been put in charge of the coordination of all fifty four pre-debate events (we only had nine in our building – the nine largest) were used to coordinating one off parties for donors. They knew catering. They did not know generators. Again, I was questioned about the amount of time necessary for a smooth load-in, the necessary rehearsal time, camera blocking time and the like. In most instances the 23 people in these meetings, most of whom are much higher in the University food-chain than I am accepted my recommendations, if reluctantly. However, when it came time to discuss the practicality of the installation of the new sound system in Fulton Chapel my input was squelched by the Vice Chancellor (wayyyyy above me on the food chain). I had written a proposal for a new system in October of 2007 and we received funding from a private donor. I built system designs and gathered quotes for the rest of the academic year and contracted with the installer in July. We thought that we were in place to have the system completely installed by mid-August. However, I received an e-mail at the beginning of the month from the installer that the speakers (which were being custom built) would not be ready until mid-September. By mid-September we would be in the thick of the events as well as opening our first show in our secondary performance area. I could not start installation (working largely overnight when classes are not in the space) at that time. I received this message one hour before I had a meeting with the full debate committee and had to fill them in on the news. Upon hearing the situation I was informed that there would be a new system in place. Period. As soon as I walked out of the meeting I contacted the installer to see what options we had. Understanding the situation (and not wanting to lose the contract) he loaned us a temporary system which was not as fleshed out as what we were purchasing, but that was far superior to what we had in place and would be plenty sufficient for the events.

Two weeks before classes began I gathered what labor I could for the installation and proceeded to spend four days and nights overseeing the initial phase of installation. It was a grueling process. The week before I had been called in to clear out my classroom by the end of the day so that they could begin construction on my new office. My classroom is pretty big, housing the computer lab, the light lab as well as drafting / table space. I called in some students and ten hours later it was cleared. I told them that we would move everything back as soon as everything was completed (they were only putting up one wall to create an office out of the classroom along with the requisite wiring). I assumed that it would be completed within two weeks and the students who helped would receive the remainder of the payment at that time. I subsequently went upstairs and packed up my office in anticipation of the move.

So, I was doing a lot of work during this non-contractual time and I was a little frustrated by it. I am a creature of habit. If I get into the habit of working on something, I can get it done. However, if it is constantly broken up with ancillary tasks (such as cleaning out the classroom or working on the debate) then I get out of the rhythm and have difficulty getting back into it. Therefore, the research that was supposedly being accomplished during this time period simply did not happen. I would get started, get rolling and then lose several days with this outside work. It is my fault for not being more structured, but that’s where I am at.

At the end of the month the school year began. On day one we began the hang for the debate events. It took some doing as we were hanging lights where I had never hung them and there were no circuits available. The stage was built out 16 feet downstage from where it typically ended. This meant, especially for televised events, I needed to move the lights back quite a ways. In addition to creating these hanging positions, we also had the challenge of finding all of our equipment. The Oxford Shakespeare Festival takes place each summer and uses one of our theatres. I had given them an inventory of available equipment which they largely ignored. Therefore, there was equipment scattered across campus that I had to locate and transport back. We had a week to hang and focus the equipment for the events. The first one was the Tuesday after we started back (Monday being Labor Day). It is a challenge to mount a production of this scope in the first week of classes when the students are slowly trickling in from summer jobs, and we are still assessing their skills. However, we got it done and were ready for the Naturalization Ceremony that kicked off the debate season on campus. More on that in September!

The Year in Review - June / July

2008-12-27T22:38:00.004-06:00

June: June was a hectic month. I was designing A Midsummer Night’s Dream for the inaugural season of The Tennessee Shakespeare Festival. I had received the offer to design the show as a direct result of designing The Underpants with Tennessee Rep. The director of that show, Lane Davies, was the Artistic Director of Tennessee Shakes and the director of the show. In addition to continuing my association with Lane, the resident scenic and costume designers as well as the resident stage manager for Tennessee Rep would be doing the show. The Artistic Director of Tennessee Rep was also the Associate Artistic Director. Since I had had such a positive experience working with the Rep I did not see how I could turn down the gig (even if I did have trepidations of doing outdoor theatre). It seemed like a good opportunity to continue and strengthen my relationship with the people at the Rep.

Being the inaugural season, there was no infrastructure in place and the guidelines changed regularly. I was not able to lock down the generator until 10 days before I arrived and the equipment at approximately the same time. I did not receive the dimensions of the tent that housed the stage until I arrived. Upon construction, the scenic design changed considerably due largely to the unevenness of the earth upon which it was built. It was a totally different experience than anything I had ever done.

While the crew that I had was a hard working group, they were all comprised of actors with little technical experience. This further complicated the issue. The festival was held on the grounds of a private school in a small town about an hour outside of Nashville. The housing was in the dormitory for the students. I had not considered that they would not have bedding materials. Therefore, when I walked in I found what looked like a jail cell (cinder block walls, a single, industrial fluorescent light, bunk beds and a tile floor). No bedding. I ended up staying in Franklin and commuting in an hour and fifteen minutes each way, each day. This frayed my nerves as well. Luckily the people that I was working with were all very friendly and worked hard. This made the experience worthwhile and I ended up being fairly pleased with the result.

I was happy to return home at the end of the process. Following the 12 day stay in Franklin during The Underpants Brigitte decided to stay in Oxford for this trip. It was good to return in time for the 4^th of July and have the rest of the summer to work, presumably, upon research. More on that in July!

A Midsummer Night's Dream - Tennessee Shakespeare Festival

July: July was a fairly sanguine month. I had received a grant to study the similarities and differences between Eastern European and American lighting design styles. I thought that with the conclusion of the Shakes Fest I would spend the rest of the month working on the research. As soon as I arrived back in Oxford from the show I received a note from my department chair that I was needed at a meeting regarding the upcoming Presidential Debate (the first Pres. Debate was help at Ole Miss this past year). So, in spite of the fact that it was the summer and I was off contract I went in to the meeting. This was a preliminary meeting to see what problems might be encountered by using our primary performance space for several pre-debate events. The provost laid out the tentative schedule of events and wanted to know what it would do to our use of the space academically, practically, labor-wise, etc. I had been told by the chair before entering the meeting that we had to do this, so there was no purpose in trying to explain what problems there would actually be. Instead, I was to lay out potential problems for the organizations using the space, as well as labor needs and expected costs. This is no small task with nine events happening over the space of three weeks. Each had a different complement of speakers with different stage setups. Some had multimedia, others simply wanted a black background. The University wanted to videotape each production, some would be televised. All would be transmitted via radio. With so many variables in the process, generating the numbers that the chair requested was no small task, and certainly not something that I could generate on the spot. I could present potential difficulties for the various organizations, but had no immediate answers. This was not appreciated.

It is important to understand that our theatre is in no way set up to be a road house. We have several stages on campus. The largest, the Ford Center for the Performing Arts (where the debate itself was held), is the road house. This is where touring productions and musical acts typically produce their shows. They have a full time staff in place to accommodate these productions. Our main space, Fulton Chapel, is run by the theatre department. I am in charge of the lighting and sound. However, this is secondary to my teaching load. The only crew that I have are students who have production class hours or who are work-study. This is not the best setup for what we were being asked to coordinate. Therefore, I had to come up with solutions to these problems. I initially encountered resistance from the chair. I do not believe that she fully understands what goes into mounting a production. With the events all taking place at different times (some in the morning, afternoon, evening, etc) we would need students out of class to be able to pull this off. She said that we could not do this. I told her that we could not hold the events. She eventually backed down. This was my process. Telling people what we needed, them doubting me, and then, eventually acquiescing. It was a frustrating process. They trusted me enough to ask me to do it (or I was the only option), but they did not care for the answers I came back with. Therefore, they questioned my judgment, eventually agreeing to my suggestions.

As frustrating and time consuming as the pre-planning process was, it was also a lot of fun. I like being in control. I like pre-production work. I liked working on something unlike anything that I had done before. I appreciated the scope and challenge of what we were being asked to do. On paper, it was a good time. In the following months, when it was time to do it, the paperwork would be put to the test. Good times!

The Year in Review - May 2008

2008-12-24T20:12:00.001-06:00

Okay...

So, I realized that I had actually already written a review of March and April previously, so here is May. June will follow tomorrow!

May: I returned to Oxford just in time for finals. Easy week. I had learned that I was going to be losing one student who was changing majors but I would also be gaining one. One of the challenges that I have faced in my job at Ole Miss has been the lack of students. When I took the job I thought that I was going to have three students which would be the base of the program while I built it up. However, upon arrival there was only one left. One had decided that she had had enough of designing in school, had already gone through two professors (her first being the man who had been there for 30 years, the second the interim prof who had been there during the search), and wasn’t really interested in a third. The second had dropped out to go work at the Hard Rock in Biloxi. The one that remained had had an unfortunate history in the department and I was warned that he was unreliable. By the end of the first semester he was making excellent strides, we had worked out our differences and he was coming along nicely. However, after failing one class in the department for the fourth time he decided that he would be changing majors after the spring. So, I was once again left with one student looking ahead to the next academic year. He had just showed up one day, had had experience in high school and wanted to learn more. I was excited to have him while being disappointed about losing the other.

Just before I left Nashville the director of The Underpants had offered me a gig designing the inaugural season of The Tennessee Shakespeare Festival. They would be doing A Midsummer Night’s Dream and it would be outdoors. I happily accepted the offer and went to work trying to figure out what we could do. Being the inaugural season there was no infrastructure in place and things were very much up in the air. The budget fluctuated on several occasions. Initially, there was going to be a permanent installation of power which I had given specifications on. Then that fell through and I had to learn more about diesel powered generators than I ever wanted to know. In the interim I had sent off requests for quotes for what I was wanting for the design. One company came back and said, we can’t supply that much equipment. Another came back with a quote that was three times larger than my budget. Luckily Stage Light was wonderful and came back with a quote within budget and saved me the headache of how to design the show with a third of the instrumentation that I already considered the bare minimum necessary to design the show. It was a stressful time, with many conference calls regarding power, budget and scheduling. More on the show in June!

The Year in Review 2008

2008-12-22T01:52:00.005-06:00

So, I clearly failed at my attempt to blog each week this year (stupid resolutions). Honestly, it often crossed my mind and I even had ideas of things to write about from time to time. I could think of several excuses for why I did not live up to my resolution but none of them would be entirely accurate, interesting or worthwhile. Therefore, instead of writing about why I did not write I will instead attempt to summarize the year that was with highlights of the goings on in my life during the period. Everyday through the new year I will post a blog recapping the year. Please stay tuned!

January: January was at once a boring and challenging month. I anticipate similar times ahead. The boring part of the month is that I am away from work for the majority of the month. While I typically look forward to this hiatus, I inevitably find myself in a malaise of some sort while I try to find meaningful ways to spend this time. I inherently come up with promising ideas: work on the upkeep of the house (where is the fun in this); attempt to kill the kudzu in the backyard (but it is so damn cold out there); catch up on my much needed reading (Star Trek books for fun – plays for work and / or the sense that I am still invested in the theatre world and it isn’t just a job – Historical / Sociological books to help me sustain some sense that knowledge and education are still an interest of mine and that I am in fact interested in the world around me – Bob Dylan books because he is pretty kick ass; play video games because I should simply relax; work on designs for the upcoming semester because that way I will be ahead when I get back; spend time with the family because they also kick ass and so on… However, I often spend much more time sitting around contemplating these ideas than I do actually doing any of them. The malaise sets in, I stay up way too late and sleep way too late and overall find myself increasingly frustrated with myself. This past January held many of these traits and I am working hard to plan ahead for the coming January so that I may be able to slip out of these habits.

February: I spent much of February working with my first student designer here at Ole Miss, preparing him for the dance show that we had as part of our season. The show opened around the middle of the month which left me the rest of the month to focus on the upcoming production of The Grapes of Wrath.

During this time we interviewed several candidates for a job opening that we had in the department. I was on the search committee which meant that I got to play nice with these people while they were in town and generally had less time to spend with my family. However, I learned a lot about the department through my work on the committee. I am very glad that I had the opportunity and enjoyed the process quite a bit (I like to feel like I am in control at all times - even if I am on a committee).

What have we done?

2008-06-03T14:08:00.005-05:00

So, in an action that can only be defined as rash, Brigitte and I have quite suddenly changed the landscape of our home, our family and our sanity. For reasoning that is clear only to those people who don't ever think things through we have made two new additions to our homes.

They are currently named Barnett Cat 1 and Barnett Cat 2. The no kill shelter that we adopted them from had named them Richard and Robert but we are on the hunt for more...cat like names (like Zoidberg for our current cat).

Brigitte and I first brought cats into our collective life on December 7, 2000 with the addition of Ziggy and Zoidberg into our lives. In March, Ziggy passed away due to complications from what the vet described as birth defects. We were surprised that birth defects would take eight years to manifest themselves, but the vet essentially said that when Ziggy was born his organs had not formed correctly and he was lucky to live as long as he did. This was devastating news to us as he was fine one day, sick and not himself the next and then the day after that he was gone. It was very sudden and we were heartbroken. Ziggy and Zoidberg were like our first children. To lose one so unexpectedly was...I don't have a thesaurus handy, so let's just say it was bad.

Ziggy (in background) and Zoidberg with baby Evelyn

Fast forward to Sunday night and I asked Brigitte if she thought she would like to get another cat, or like Ziggy and Zoidberg another pair of brothers (Z & Z coming from the same litter). We looked online and found these two and then yesterday afternoon brought them home. I usually like to consider options and think things through but in this instance I seem to have failed in that. So now we have one eight year old cat sulking around not sure of what to make of these six month old kittens and two kittens ransacking the house turning our relatively simple and clear cut lives into disarray.

They are very cute and have lots of good energy. Evelyn seems to enjoy them although she does seem to have some problem with how much attention that they require (I think that she would prefer that attention to be diverted to her). So, we have started a new phase of our lives and if we all survive, I'm sure that they (anyone have a good idea for names?) will be welcome additions to our little family.

Enjoy Cat Scratch Fever!

Recapping Year One

2008-05-28T14:54:00.003-05:00

It has recently come to my attention that I have been "sucking" at my resolution to blog once a week. This is true. I will try to make up for it over the summer and get caught up with the actual number of blogs I had proposed to write, whether they come in weekly increments or not. So, with no further fanfare, here is a recap of my first year at Ole Miss. Some of this repeats info from other blogs, but it should get you caught up...

First of all, we have a very nice house here in Oxford and Brigitte and Evelyn seem to really enjoy the house, the half acre and the town. So, that is definitely an improvement over our condo with a 10’ x 12’ patio in the back. The house is about 2000 square feet, so we have more room and can spread out a bit more. Oxford is not my favorite place that I have ever lived, but it is a nice small town. I miss the shopping and cultural choices that are available in larger towns such as Nashville, Knoxville, Tallahassee and the like, but surprisingly, to me at least, Brigitte seems to not miss these things as much as I do. She grew up near Alexandria, VA and I thought for sure that she would have a harder time adjusting to things here than I would having spent a good year in Pullman, WA, but I have been mistaken. I am glad that they are happy though, and I spend much less time in the car which is good for my sanity and my wallet.

The job itself has been exhausting. We produce six shows a year which isn’t too bad, but I have been responsible for designing four of them this year while supervising the lighting design of the remaining two as well as designing sound for two of them and supervising the design of the other four. That, in and of itself, is very time consuming but I was more or less prepared for that when I took the job. What I was not prepared for was the difficulty in getting acclimated to the new environment, learning how our performance spaces work and the course load that I would be carrying in my first year.

The first show of the year took place in our newly renovated theatre space. This was a bad choice on the department chair’s part as it gave no time to deal with any unexpected problems, of which there were many. When I arrived I was told that the money that had been budgeted for the new dimming system in the theatre had been cut and instead of the $100,000 that were appropriated for the system I had $25,000 remaining to get the theatre operational. This was approximately four weeks from the opening of the show. In that time, in addition to figuring out how the money should be spent I had to put together the 138 lights which had been purchased for the space, design the show, hang and focus the show. Most importantly, I had to assess what was in place in the space and how best to spend the remaining funds to make it a viable theatrical performance space as well as a good theatre for the students to learn in. Unfortunately, the equipment that had been purchased had been configured in a manner to work with the new system in mind and was therefore incompatible with the old system left in place. This was a huge challenge to overcome and much of the money I had was spent making the new equipment “talk” to the old system. In addition I had to buy new dimmers, coordinate with physical plant on the installation of additional power into the space, and go through a bid process on the equipment to be purchased. Needless to say, it was a very hectic first three weeks of my tenure here, and one I do not hope to repeat again soon. However, we only missed our deadline by one day and the show opened as scheduled. Everyone seemed pleased with the design and I thought it could only get easier from here. I had no idea how wrong I was.

The next show, Company, a large scale musical, was performed in the existing larger performance space. I now had to familiarize myself with another new space, new inventory, new angles and new headaches. To complicate things, I had expected to come in to the year with three lighting students. However, when I arrived, only one student was left after the others had dropped out or decided that they no longer wished to be actively involved in the theatre department. One of these was supposed to be designing this show, but informed me in the middle of the headache in the new theatre that she would not be able to do it. So, with my one student that was left, which the department chair told me at the beginning of the year would never design at Ole Miss again after some mistakes he had made at the end of the past year, I set about designing this show. It was fraught with difficulty and again we came in one day late in our schedule, but the show opened on time and many people told me it was the best design they had seen at Ole Miss, which is always nice to hear (although the department chair, to this day, has yet to say anything positive or negative regarding my design work).

The next show, Lysistrata, went considerably smoother for the majority of the process. However, the day that we were supposed to start technical rehearsals, at which point we had hung and focused all of lights as well as written all of the cues, we received word that our main theatre space had been “temporarily condemned” due to structural failure in the ceiling from a buildup of water in the attic space (where most of my power is run, incidentally). So, we go away for Thanksgiving break and when we get back we have to move the entire set from one space to the other and I have to completely redesign the show, which means re-hanging and focusing as well as writing a whole new set of cues for the smaller stage which necessitated a fair amount of re-blocking on the director’s part. I thought for sure that my life was coming to an end.

The spring semester started out fairly smoothly. I had convinced the chair to give my one student another chance and he set about designing the dance show. I had a few squabbles with the head of dance which culminated in her asking if I had ever worked on professional dance, in front of the entire cast and crew, and me responding, “I have indeed, and what you are asking us to do looks a lot more like what I have done for a dance recital with a bunch of seven year olds whose parents just want to see their little bunny hop across stage.” So, that went well.

Then April struck. I had four shows open in April and have subsequently spent much time with various medical professionals treating me for what they can only determine are stress related maladies. First came The Grapes of Wrath, which I was ultimately very pleased with, but took a lot out of me. I worked four 18 hour days in a row and did not eat until the fourth of those days. The local paper called that the best lighting design they have seen at Ole Miss, so again, it went well, but tried to take me down with it. Then we had six working days to strike that show, re-hang and focus for the big musical revue we do at the end of the year. In the middle of that my department chair decided that we needed to cultivate a good relationship with the music department which meant that I also had to design, hang and focus the opera that was being performed in our new space. I was the only person in the department working on the show. It was most frustrating, and something that I think I have made clear to the chair I will not be doing again. I went straight from that into the tech week of the revue which I again had students working on. I want my students to be designing, but ultimately it is more work for me as I have to mentor them through their choices and go back and work through their mistakes. However, that is what I am really here to do. The day that the revue opened I drove to Nashville where I designed The Underpants by Steve Martin for Tennessee Repertory Theatre.

Working with the Rep was an excellent experience. Growing up I always wanted to work at TPAC and I finally got my chance. The show was performed in the Polk Theatre there and was a lot of fun. It was nice to be a professional designer again and only having to worry about designing the show. Several times throughout the process I had to force myself to stop and look around at where I was. I have seen several shows in this space, going back to 1988, and it was just a pure thrill to be working there myself.

I came back from that rejuvenated, and just in time for finals. The day after that show opened I had a root canal which was good as well since the tooth had been giving me intense pain since mid March and I had no time to deal with it until May 2. I did however make time to check on other health problems that came up during this time that required a lot of blood work and a CT Scan that all came back negative. After about $3,000 worth of work (much of which was covered by insurance thankfully) they came back with a response of “I don’t know, maybe it is stress related.”

Add to all of this the challenge of learning how the department and University work, figuring out what some of my classes are (some of them had very nebulous course descriptions and no one around here seems to know what the person before me taught), teaching three courses in the fall and six in the spring, serving on committees to reassess the tenure guidelines, to reassess and restructure the BA curriculum and being the design representative on a search committee, as well as going on four recruiting trips in Mississippi, Tennessee, Texas and at the Southeastern Theatre Conference and it has been a very trying year.

Luckily, the department chair seems to be more relaxed and trusting of me now. I wrote a grant proposal which has gotten us $85,000 for a sound renovation in our main performance space, another proposal from which I received a fellowship over the summer to create an initial comparison of the lighting design styles between America and Europe as well as designing the show at the Rep and I will also be designing the inaugural season of the Tennessee Shakespeare Festival in Bell Buckle, TN this year. So, I am doing well with my creative and research goals for tenure. Additionally, the Rep has already begun talking to me about coming back next year for more design work and I have had meetings with the people at The Alliance Theatre in Atlanta which hopefully will turn into some work next year. I have also been speaking with a company that produces shows in Pigeon Forge and Branson, MO about designing shows with them in the coming year and have spooken with a couple of other theatres about upcoming possibilities. The department chair likes that.

So, I have survived the year and am optimistic that next year will be smoother, however the first presidential debate is being held here and I learned earlier this week that they will be using our theatre for several functions leading up to the debate which will likely strain my time in heretofore unseen ways. The faculty as a whole are likable and supportive in their comments although not so helpful in their actions. We are all very busy with too much to do, so that is not something that I hold against them. My recruitment efforts have not born any fruit just yet, but there are several high school juniors who will be visiting this summer with an eye toward the 2009-2010 school year, so hopefully my roster of students will begin to grow. I have added one additional student for next year, so slowly we are growing.

I am happy with this choice over Nebraska, although I would be lying if I said that I never called up friends and asked what the hell I had done. I can only hope that the knowledge that I have gained from this year will make the next year much smoother, as it invariably should, and that I will get more sleep as well.

How are things with you?

Enjoy the silence!

You Do What For A Living?

2008-02-25T22:59:00.005-06:00

As I was recently reminded, I am not doing so well with the blogging. Work seems to have caught up to me and left me with very little time that I am willing to dedicate to writing. I seem to only have time at home and as my life is largely consumed by work, I don't want to write about anything work related, which is increasingly all that I really experience in my day to day life. I like to keep my home life and work life separate.

When I realized that this was the case I knew that I was no longer doing theatre simply for the love of it. When I reached the point that I did not necessarily want to take Brigitte to see my shows, or wanted my mom to avoid my productions, I realized that in many cases it was just a job. Recently my mom wanted to come down to see a show that I designed here at Ole Miss (the last design that she saw was in January 2001). I tried to explain to her that A) it wasn't necessary and that B) I didn't want to go see it again. She didn't understand either one of these ideas. I explained to her that it would be like me coming to her office and watching her teach kids how to overcome speech impediments. It is what I do to pay the bills. It is my job, and I don't feel the need to have my family or friends come see me work.

This is not always the case. If it is a show that I really like, or think that Brigitte will like, or if it is a project that I am particularly pleased with, then I sometimes feel differently. However, I find that increasingly (over the past few years), when I leave the theatre in the evening, I don't want to think about it or talk about it, much less go back and see it. It is somewhat disappointing.

All of that being said, I am very excited about my upcoming design with Tennessee Repertory Theatre and fully intend to invite all of my family and friends to check it out (although I will probably only be able to comp my mom in the door). It is a challenging space (the Polk Theatre at the Tennessee Performing Arts Center) with the set placed in a very challenging location on the stage - do we really need the actors in the laps of the audience - that is another blog I think... So, if I am able to pull it off, I will be quite proud of it. More to the point, growing up in Franklin, TN, a suburb of Nashville, I always thought that working for the Rep was a sure sign that one had made it. Well, I'm not quite 30, and by the estimation of my 16 year old self, I seem to have "made it." That's not too bad. I think I would be proud of myself. It's also nice that all of the people working on the show are super nice and fun. All around, I am enjoying the experience.

So, things are good, if a bit exhausting. I am still enjoying designing, still looking for design work over the summer (anyone know of anything?), and still acclimating to the new job. It's taking time, but at least I get to throw lights around the stage, and I get paid for it!

Enjoy "Great Performances - Company!" It's killer. Check your local PBS listings. Seriously. Do it...

I Hope That I Get Old Before I Die

2008-02-04T01:12:00.000-06:00

So, I seem to be falling short of my goal of blogging once a week, but I'm trying...just not being too terribly successful. That being said, it's late and I need to be up in five hours for work so I am going to keep this short and plan to write more in the coming days.
Some thoughts:

It's hard being an adult. As I approach 30 I seem to be finding wrinkles and more and more gray hair. I seem to be going gray primarily on the side and back of my head so every time I get my haircut I am surprised by the overwhelming amount of gray that is there (far surpassing the darker hair that I see regularly). However, I am starting to see an increased amount of gray in the top and in my beard. I do not consider myself a particularly vain person, otherwise I would lose weight, dye the gray and probably shop for clothes at locations more upscale than Wal-Mart, but I do find it somewhat troubling that my daughter will likely have no real memories of me with a head of dark hair. I feel like it is a strange thing to concern myself with, but I always remember my grandfather with a head of white hair. When I see pictures of him with dark hair (like mine) he looks like a different person. I wish that she would have some recollection of me as that person, instead of the white haired man who is quickly approaching.
I find that I miss going out on dates with my wife. Last night a friend from Nashville was in town on her current gig in a touring show and it was really nice to have someone over to the house who was not related to us (the first such visitor in the eight months we have been here). Unfortunately, Brigitte and I weren't able to go see her show due to a lack of a babysitter. I realized that since we moved here in June, she and I have only gone out once without Evelyn (other than quick shopping trips when visiting our families), and even that was taking her to see the first show I designed here, which was really just like me going to work again. We decided against going out to dinner that night before the show because we didn't want to have to pay the babysitter for the time of our meal as well. I was quite spoiled having my mom around to watch Evelyn while we were living in Franklin.
Recruiting students is a difficult, and tiring experience. I was in Dallas last week on a recruiting trip (which was nice because Brigitte got to see her family in Dallas while I was at the conference) where there were approximately 30 colleges recruiting theatre students. There were no more than 25 design students total looking for schools. I do not think that with the limited scholarship money that I have to offer students that my winning personality will compete with the money that some of the in-state and private schools have to offer. I can only hope that they decided that they really wanted to come work with me. On a side note, for those of you from Florida State who may be reading this, an old friend surprised me at the conference. I was walking through the design display area when I turned the corner and nearly barreled into none other than Steve Wallace representing the University of Houston. I'm not sure if he recognized me or not, but I didn't walk up and say "Hi. I don't know if you remember me, but I actively lobbied University officials to get you fired while I was in grad school. How are things?" It was a bit jarring and I found him looking my way here and there throughout the design recruitment period and then during the acting auditions where I got to see 125 acting students sing "Seasons of Love" or "Light My Candle" or to spice it up a bit "Tango Maureen." Perhaps this is an exaggeration, but it seems like a lot of high school theatre kids are big fans of Rent.

Well, that is all for now. Enjoy 18-1!

How Did We Come to This?

2008-01-20T01:29:00.000-06:00

Well, it looks like it has been slightly more than a week since my last blog, but since my goal is 52 blogs in the year, I am still ahead of the game...

I've been thinking a lot recently about my chosen profession. I ended up working in education much earlier than I had ever anticipated. I knew that when I went to grad school I would one day want to end up in the college environment. There are many reasons for this: job security, benefits, the ability to spend more time with my family than not, and the fact that I like school; I like to learn. However, I imagined that I would spend some time working as a freelance lighting designer, establish myself in the industry, and then move into the education field somewhere in my mid to late 30's. When Brigitte and I found out that we were having a child it suddenly meant that a lot of the reasons to be in education were pushed to the forefront. When we got the news from the doctor that Brigitte wasn't simply being paranoid, I was unemployed, having recently quit my illustrious position with Home Depot. I was in the process of starting up my own company, specializing in interior design (specifically lighting) named Flip the Switch, the name of which I owe to a longtime friend, Thomas DeMarcus, who came up with the name in the bar of TGI Fridays when I said "What should I name this company?" As he often did, he had a quick, smart answer and I ran with it, promising that I would never pay him a penny for the name, but that he could be Executive Vice-President in charge of names. This job would pay nothing but sounded kind of fancy. I had gotten my business license and was ready to start advertising the company, but other priorities suddenly presented themselves.

I wasn't really sure what to do about my lack of employment as an MFA in lighting design does not present a lot of options in corporate America and I didn't have any interest in returning to Home Depot. At the end of my tenure with the company I had had a bit of a run-in with the management of my local branch when during one of our mandatory, 5:00am employee meetings they announced that corporate had sent out a memo changing the policy regarding vacation time and removing the part of our contract which stated that they had to give notice of firing if it was without cause. Many of the employees, specifically those for whom this was a career, not simply a stop off on the way to something else, as it was for me, were quite upset about this change. One asked, "How can they do this when we have a signed contract?" As the store manager stammered out some nonsense about how it doesn't really change anything (other than the fact that you could walk in and not have a job for no reason other than corporate cutbacks) I responded, "It's pretty simple. Since we do not have a collectively bargained contract, as we would if we were unionized, they can change anything they want, including our pay, at any point with no notice. If you don't like it you should consider a position in a field that has been unionized." I said it in a fairly offhand manner. While on some level I felt bad for the people who were celebrating their 14th year with the company and were still driving the forklift (keep in mind that when you are hired you have to watch several corporate propaganda films, including one in which the VP of the company talks about how he started out as a cart pusher - however, that was back when there was one store and this guy was in high school - he subsequently got his MBA after he left Home Depot for college - information that they did not divulge in the film but that I found after about five minutes researching him online), I didn't give too much thought to it since I didn't really like many of the people I worked with. I thought that it was ridiculous that the people who worked there worked as hard as they did and still didn't make what I considered a living wage and didn't have any particular end in sight, but I was always thinking ahead to what I would be doing once I left the company.

After the meeting I started to head out with donut in hand (because these meetings were catered with glazed donuts and orange juice - because those things really go well together) since I didn't have to work until that afternoon, when I encountered one of the Assistant Managers (a guy who always seemed angry - but in his defense he had been the captain of Vanderbilt's football two years in a row, only the second guy to do that in the 124 years of the team at that time, and had subsequently played for the Cincinnati Bengals before he blew out his knee and ended up as an Assistant Manager at Home Depot) who told me that the manager wanted to see me in his office. So, donut still in hand I shuffled into his office where the rest of the management team was waiting for me. The manager looked very uncomfortable and asked me what I meant about all of this "collective bargaining crap?" I told him that I didn't understand his question. He in turn asked where I learned all of this "crap" that I was spouting in the meeting. Apparently the discussion of unions wasn't as much fun as singing about how much we love Home Depot (something that we had to do at the end of each meeting, and which was led by the aforementioned football player - I felt genuinely bad for him at those times). I responded that I had some knowledge of unions from learning about them in regard to theatre and that I had an interest in how they helped or hurt workers and consumers and that it was simply a personal interest of mine. With a concerned look on his face he said that we would talk more when I came in that afternoon. I didn't think too much about it as I didn't think that he would have much to say about it one way or the other as he never struck me as especially knowledgeable about much of anything. That afternoon when I arrived for my shift closing the store, I was told that I was to report directly to the manager's office. When I walked in the District Manager was standing there with the manager looking even more uncomfortable than he had that morning. The DM immediately launched into the conversation with the question, "Who do you work for?" Not understanding the question I responded, "The Home Depot." "Don't get smart with me," he responded. "Who told you to talk about collective bargaining with my workers? You're just going to scare them." Well, I didn't know what to say to that. I explained that I was simply answering the question posed by one of the employees during the meeting. Apparently he was under the impression that I had been sent in by a union to try to unionize the workers. The last thing he said to me was, "I'm keeping my eye on you boy." Well, as amusing as the whole thing was to me, I wasn't too worried about him watching my every move as I tried to explain to the customers that it would be a good thing to have the lights in their foyer and dining room match if you could see them from the other room. I also thought it might be kind of fun to try to unionize the workers, but realized that it would be much more work than it was probably worth. Instead, after a few more weeks of getting strange looks from the management, I simply called in one day and announced that I would not be returning. Since they no longer needed to give me notice for firing, I would not be giving notice on quitting. Amusingly, three weeks later I got a letter from the corporate office stating that I had been fired since I had not reported for my assigned shifts for two straight weeks. Apparently, the Assistant Manager who I spoke with on the phone failed to pass along that I had decided to quit, or they simply liked the idea of "firing" me.

So, a few weeks later when we found out Brigitte was pregnant I was in a pretty bad situation. I had no job and no prospects. I went to a Nashville Sounds game with Thomas and could not focus on enjoying the hot dogs and ice cream in a hat as I normally would. We were running through our savings pretty quickly and now the medical bills were starting to roll in. Through some sort of divine intervention, while at the ballpark I got a call from Tennessee State University asking if I could come in the next day for an interview. Of course, I enthusiastically responded yes, although I wasn't entirely sure who I was talking to since it was pretty loud and windy at the ballpark. The next question was if I would be ready to teach tomorrow as well. I didn't want to lose my shot at the job so I said that I would. Classes had started that day and they needed someone right then. That same evening I got a call with an offer to design a show at Seaside Music Theatre in Daytona based on the recommendation of Russell Sandifer at Florida State University, who had no particular reason to help me out, but I will always be grateful for him taking the time to think of me. It all came together at the right time. I went in for my interview at 9:00am, taught my first class at 10:00 and the next semester was hired on in a full time temporary position. The next fall I went from an Adjunct Professor to Assistant and stayed until I was offered that job here in Oxford.

And now here I am. Classes started this week. I am teaching six classes this semester, designing three shows, one with the department, one for the opera program and one with Tennessee Rep in Nashville. I still like to learn. I still like teaching, but I wish that I had taken the opportunity to be a freelance designer. I am still trying to get work designing around the country and it has proven most difficult. I am grateful that we have health insurance and I have a steady paycheck, but this job has been the most difficult thing that I can recall doing. That's another blog though...

Enjoy the big box stores!

I forget you...

2008-01-08T03:00:00.000-06:00

So, as I said stated in my post on New Year's Eve, here is the first in a line of posts detailing the music that I am listening to. For Christmas Brigitte and I received Zunes, mainly because you could get the 30GB model for $80 at the day after Thanksgiving sale. My favorite feature has to be the "Shuffle All" option. I have it all loaded up with as much of my music collection as I could fit and I have heard a lot of music that I have either never listened to or stuff that I have not heard in years. It has been a lot of fun so I will share some thoughts on the tracks with you here...

1. "On Earth My Nina" - Long Tall Weekend - They Might Be Giants
This song is from an EP that the band put out specifically to promote their association with eMusic back long before iTunes existed. You could pay a certain amount a month ($10 as I recall) and could download as much as you wanted. Each month TMBG would release 10 songs or so that they were working on. This EP is one of the things that initially attracted me to the service. Also, as eMusic was hitching itself to the independent artists, I got a nice TMBG / eMusic fleece pullover with my subscription.
At the time I was in my last year of school at the University of Tennessee and Brigitte and I lived together in an apartment called Cross Creek. I thought that it was a great place. It had two bedrooms with a nice stairwell with a landing. To me then, it was the nicest place in the world. We turned the dining room into an "office" where we had our computers set up (much as we do today). This was the first time that we really lived together and it was pretty rough, but we made it through (barely).
The song itself is one of the darkest TMBG songs I know of. There is no musical accompaniment, only John Linnell's voice singing in his odd lilting fashion, "her burden of things walking out" and how despite the burdens that she faces, she will remain "on Earth my Nina."

2. "Utah" - State Songs - John Linnell
Odd that this would be the next song up on the queue, but here it is. This is John Linnell's lone solo LP. It is an album made up entirely of songs either about states, or named after a state. This album reminds me of work calls that I ran when I was the Technical Director of All Campus Theatre, the student run theatre organization at UT. The cast of the show was required to come to the work calls to help prepare the set and lights for the production. We would also have a few volunteers from other students in the department. One of the "rules" was that as TD I got to pick the music that we would listen to. I think that I was seen as having a somewhat eccentric taste in music, and this album / song could certainly be part of why that would be. Looking back at those times, those calls, I probably had more "fun" doing theatre then than I have since, and while the shows were not the quality that I demand of myself today, I was working with friends who all just wanted to have fun and put on a good show. It was much simpler then. At the time I'm afraid that I overlooked that aspect of things.
The song itself is another dark number. "Were you the one I hurt, were you the one I betrayed? Did you stay angry with me? I forget you, I forget you, I forget Utah."

3. "King of Grey" - Carousel - Will Hoge
Will Hoge is an artist out of Nashville whose music I really enjoy. He has a very straight ahead rock n' roll sound, and in another musical climate I think that he would be wildly popular. I'm still hoping that he is able to break out. On a personal level, his brother, Josh is my age and we were on the same basketball teams growing up (which Will helped coach with his father). So, I am glad to see him having the success that he is. Brigitte and I went down to Orlando to see him opening for Lisa Loeb back in 2002 and had a great time. He put us on "the list" even though I hadn't seen him in years and after the show we all went out for pizza and tattoos. Well, he got a tattoo, and Brigitte almost did. I, on the other hand, had no intention of following suit, but it was still a great time. It was fun catching up with him and hearing his stories of life on the road. I think that the best thing about the evening for me (other than seeing Will play) was towards the end of the night we were sitting in the dressing room (a tiny little hole) as Lisa Loeb was finishing up her set and Will looked over to me and said "You may want to get up, you're sitting on her sweater." Sure enough, in walks Lisa Loeb, introduces herself to Brigitte and I, picks up her sweater and walks out to sign autographs for her fans. I distinctly remember listening to "Stay" when I was in high school and it just struck me as hilarious that I had been sitting in her dressing room, on her sweater for the last hour and a half. I was not star struck, just amused by the ridiculousness of the whole situation. A great evening all around! Check him out at his website.

4. "Over" - Mer de Noms - A Perfect Circle
I don't have any specific memories of this song, but the album as a whole I wore out in my car when I was first starting grad school. Maynard Keenan's vocals seemed to be much more prominent in the mix of this album than the ones I have of Tool and I just love the way it sounds. The bitterness in his inflection, the hurt was perfect for where I was in my first semester in Tallahassee. Luckily I came out of this by the time the second semester came around, but I still enjoy the album and find that it is perfect for the right moods, one that is not quite as angry as Tool, but not quite as depressed as...well, somewhere in between I think.

5. "Christmas Song" - Remember Two Things - Dave Matthews Band
I loved this song in high school. My friend Peter Rodocker had introduced me to the band through a tape that he had gotten, somewhere, of them playing a show in Charlottesville, VA and I instantly thought they were great. When I was able to finally get my hands on this album I was blown away. They were unlike anything that I had ever listened to. I think that my appreciation for the group is one of the things that instigated a friendship between Peter and myself. I remember one night sitting in Matt Wilson's bedroom with he and Peter and Peter going through the entire album on guitar, one song after the other. I had never seen anyone who could do that. He just listened and learned. I was amazed. I still love Peter's music (hopefully some of it will show up here on the shuffle). However, you should check Peter's music out at his MySpace page. You won't regret it.

6. "Endgame" - Out of Time - R.E.M.
Okay, this is an instrumental track which is absolutely gorgeous. I say instrumental, although it does have Michael Stipe in the background chanting along. But he is not saying words per se. R.E.M. is another holdover for me from 8th grade or so. I distinctly remember my friend Stephen Soltesz on the trip to the aforementioned Science Olympiad state tournament wearing a yellow R.E.M. t-shirt with a bicycle on it. I liked Stephen, so I checked them out. It was not until this album though that I really came to appreciate them (although I prefer Automatic for the People). I still love their music, as Brigitte can attest to (we spent the majority of our recent trip to Washington D.C. and back listening to them), and am eagerly anticipating their new album come April 1, 2008.

7. "I'll Be That Girl" - Stunt - Barenaked Ladies
I have a lot of different memories with this album. First, I bought it at the Tower Records in Alexandria, VA on my first trip up to see Brigitte our first summer dating. We had gone far enough out to get to the store that we were able to listen to the whole album on the way back to her parent's house, or so we thought. The next day when we got in the car we found that there were two bonus tracks. One of those is my favorite song of theirs. However, despite that pleasant memory, I will always associate my love of this group with my friend Dave Smith. Dave and I both really enjoyed this group and I can remember countless times riding around in his car, windows down, smoking a cigarette and listening to this album. I don't know that we were ever actually going anywhere, but Alcoa Highway could be pretty empty at night, as could the little bypass that took you from I-40 to the Knoxville Airport, and we would cruise through town having a great time with nothing to do. Dave was the one who inspired me to start doing technical theatre, and anytime I hear this group I think of him.

8. "(Don't Go Back To) Rockville" - Reckoning - R.E.M.
I told you they would probably come up again. This is the final single released off their second album Reckoning, and one of the only songs that the band readily attributes to a single member as opposed to the band as a whole. Mike Mills wrote this song for a girl he was dating in Athens, GA who was going home for the summer. It is a very young and innocent song. It is touching in its simplicity and has a great little hook to it that is something reminiscent to a country sound, something that you didn't see much of at this time in their career. "It's not as though I really need you, if you were here I'd only leave you, but everyone else in town only wants to bring you down , and that's not how it ought to be. I know it might sound strange, but I believe you'll be coming back before too long. Don't go back to Rockville, and waste another year." As with many seemingly romantic themed songs of R.E.M.'s there is a darker side to it as seen in these lyrics, but the sentiment is still a strong one and one that I've felt at times.

9. "We've Been Had (Live)" - 89/93; An Anthology - Uncle Tupelo
I only recently got this album after thinking about it for years. This band includes Jeff Tweedy who later formed Wilco and Jay Farrar who later formed Son Volt. I enjoy Wilco and understood that Uncle Tupelo had more of a roots sound to it that I fin very appealing. I don't have a good story about this song, but I am excited to hear music like this. There is a lot of pedal steel guitar here and the music is really stripped down. It's not that it is simple, but rather that it hearkens back to a time in music where all you needed was an acoustic guitar and a story to tell. That type of music really appeals to me.

10. "Thunder Road" - Live/1975-85 - Bruce Springsteen
My last year in Knoxville I became fascinated by Bob Dylan. As I researched his life and music I decided that I really wanted to understand the roots of rock n' roll. I started as far back as I could go. I listened to Woody Guthrie and Alan Lomax's recordings of folk and blues music out in the middle of nowhere. I listened to Robert Johnson and I learned to appreciate country music. Eventually I began to look at artists who were influenced by Dylan. I was reluctant to listen to Springsteen for reasons that I could not explain right now, perhaps later. I picked up this set of discs mainly because it included a wide array of his music and I have always preferred to judge an artist on their live performances when I can. I loved it. This song in particular really struck me. It is a stripped down version of the song with Springsteen, a harmonica and a piano. It is haunting in its elegance, its desire for something more and the need to break out of his life and find something better before it is too late. It was perfect for me at the time when I discovered it for myself, just as I was setting off on my own search for what my life would hold. I had left everything I knew behind me in Knoxville and landed in Tallahassee, alone with no real idea why I had just turned down Carnegie Mellon for FSU. The song still haunts me and has some of the most poignant lyrics to describe this time of life. It also has a line that makes me laugh, "Well show a little faith, there's magic in the night, you ain't a beauty but, hey, you're alright, and that's alright with me." It stands out in this beautiful song and makes me smile each time. It is honest to a fault. If you've never liked Bruce, check out this song, this version of this song. I think that you have to be moved by it.

Well, that's enough for now. I will continue to keep you periodically updated on what I find in my music.

Enjoy New Hampshire!

On A Completely Separate Note

2008-01-05T21:48:00.000-06:00

So, for four straight days here in Oxford, we had incredibly clear skies out at night. It is wonderful how many stars you can see out in the sticks (as I refer to Oxford) on a moonless, clear night. I cannot recall a time where I have seen more stars. Everywhere that I have lived has either been fairly heavily populated, Nashville, Franklin, Knoxville, Tallahassee, or I have been in the middle of a bright part of the town, as in Pullman, WA where I lived on campus. Here in Oxford, we live about 4 miles from town in a neighborhood with no street lights. Therefore, if the moon isn't out, it gets dark out here, which can create some really beautiful skies.

Two nights in a row, Monday and Tuesday, I saw shooting stars. I do not think that I have seen more than two shooting stars in the 29 years prior to those nights, and I have spent a lot of time looking at the stars. I won 1st place in the state Science Olympiad for Astronomy (which meant that I could identify more constellations and stars than anyone else when seated in a controlled environment such as a planetarium) when I was in the 8th grade. That should clue you into how geeky I was/am.

The only thing approximating this view was back in high school when I used to drive out to the Natchez Trace bridge, about 10 miles outside of Franklin, before it was open. I would go out there, sometimes with friends, and lay out on the bridge and watch the sky, and pretend that we were philosophers who could solve all the ills of the world if only someone would listen to us. Well, at least the view was nice...

It's playoff time in the NFL. The Redskins lost today which I am sure didn't sit too well with my in-laws, and my wife was most displeased. She has a tendency to not watch the biggest games, because she gets too stressed and I think that she feels a sense of doom. I am sure that I will largely be watching the Titans on my own tomorrow night as all the "experts" are saying that the Chargers are going to wipe the floor with them. Unfortunately, I think they are probably right. However, I will have my jersey on hoping for the best while Evelyn runs around yelling "Go, football game!" I tried to get her to say "Go Titans," but this is the best I can get out of her.

Finally, while reading through several gaming blogs tonight I came across a best of 2007 list that included the game Free Rice. If you like vocabulary, and I know that many of you reading this were English majors, or if you like helping hungry people, and I know that many of you like to think of yourselves as trying to save the world, then you should check out this "game." Basically you go through and select the definition that corresponds to the word that they have given you. Once you get three right in a row, you move up a level and get harder words. If you miss one you lose a level, so it is somewhat challenging. For every word you get right, the site donates 20 grains of rice to the United Nations World Food Program which then distributes it to those in need. Through today the site has donated 12,837,581,130 grains of rice. So, for those of you who didn't get that "Word of the Day" Calendar you were hoping for from Santa, check out the site. It's like the SAT, but with rice!

Enjoy the fiber!

Politics in America

2008-01-04T04:17:00.000-06:00

When I first considered the notion of writing a blog of any kind (over a year ago) I thought at the time that I would not write anything about politics. Chances are good that my opinions on politics are irrelevant to anyone but me, or my poor wife who has to hear me talk about it when it comes up. However, now that we are in an election year, I may in fact write a few things here and there, trying to keep my personal opinions about candidates or their platforms at a minimum as I am sure that my thoughts will not sway you one way or the other.

To give some perspective, I go back and forth between being very wrapped up in politics and completely tuning it out altogether. I have not found a reliable source of unbiased reporting on the issues (other than perhaps CSPAN which I cannot bring myself to endure) and I hate the local news with its sensationalism and fear-mongering. "Cat stuck in tree. More at eleven," is not a teaser that is going to bring me into their viewership. I am socially liberal and financially conservative. In the years that I have been eligible to vote I have not found one major party candidate that has accurately reflected my views on our society or the direction that I would like it to head. The closest that I have seen is Ralph Nader in the 2000 election, but even then I had a hard time justifying voting for him. I believe that our electoral process, specifically as it relates to the presidential election is broken to the point that it would take major Constitutional reforms to make it work within our current society. I must admit that I find this unlikely and often forces me to become ambivalent towards the proceedings.

It is this electoral process that brings me to this blog. I am not going to spend time (at the moment) discussing why I find the Electoral College to be an absurd, outmoded remnant of a time long before standardized education and the easy dissemination of the platforms of the candidates. Instead, what drove me to write this evening is the Iowa Caucus.

The idea that our nation, and the major parties specifically, put so much weight into the Iowa Caucus is maddening to me. I cannot fathom a situation where the candidates, their campaigns and the parties which they represent spend millions of dollars to sway American's opinions and then let a small percentage of the state's population, much less the national population decide who will continue in their run for President. The New York Times has published an article tonight with the preliminary returns on the caucus and a preliminary report on how it is likely to affect the election season.

In the article in The New York Times they state that "An estimated 220,000 Democrats showed up at caucus sites, compared to 124,000 in 2004. About 114,000 Republicans turned out. The last contested Republican caucuses in 2000 drew about 88,000." These 334,000 people who showed up represent approximately 11.3% of the projected population of the state. Now, this population number does include children who are not of a voting age. Nonetheless, the notion that 11% of the population of Iowa should have a significant impact upon our Presidential race is absurd. Furthermore, this represents only .001% of the citizens of the United States as a whole (these numbers were obtained from the US Census Bureau's website based upon the 2006 Census).

How can we, as a responsible electorate, allow this caucus, or any individual state's primary, have this much weight over the final outcome in something as important as a Presidential election? I understand that the weight that is attributed to this caucus is manifested entirely in the reputation that the politicians gain or lose from the media reporting upon it, but it is our own mindlessness that perpetrates the notion that the state of Iowa, and the insignificant number of voters who turn out for the caucus should in any way reflect how we vote, who we support, or whose campaign we donate our time and money to.

Further aggravating the situation is a quote found near the end of the NYT article where they state that, "The campaigns, meanwhile, began executing the most sophisticated voter turn-out operations ever seen in Iowa, as campaign workers began calling people who had long ago been identified as supporters to make certain they would show up to make their preferences known. The inducements included free rides to caucus sites, baby-sitting and food." When the campaigns are essentially buying votes by offering free baby-sitting, food and gas then we have an openly corrupt system that belies everything that our electoral system is supposed to represent.

I am deeply troubled with the current state of politics in our country and am concerned that the only people with the real power to change it are the ones who have the most to lose by doing so, the politicians themselves, who have clearly benefited from the system as evidenced by them being in office. I am not writing this with solutions in mind. This is a systematic issue, and making a change in a system as entrenched as our political structure is something that would takes massive amounts of money as well as serious outrage from the electorate. When the most common response that I see in our culture is a general malaise and ambivalence toward politics, due in part to these very problems, I find that outrage is a very unlikely response.

This blog is not motivated because my "front-runner" did not place as well as I would have liked. To the contrary, I have no "front-runner" as, again in this election year, I find myself unenthusiastic about any of the major party candidates. I think that the fact that Obama came out on top of the Democratic caucus may be a positive indicator for where we as a nation are in terms of racial issues, but I would not stake anything on it. The pool of voters is simply too small and controlled. The University of Mississippi, where I work is hosting the first presidential debate (cross-party) in September so I am sure that I will have occasion to write more about the election as the year progresses. In the meantime I would be very interested to hear your thoughts on the matter.

Enjoy the spin!

Now That Christmas Has Passed...

2008-01-01T18:21:00.001-06:00

...and the New Year has begun, it seemed only appropriate to start off my blogging adventure with a blog regarding my Christmas Ornaments. I have quite a collection of ornaments. Between Brigitte and I we probably have close to, (I asked Brigitte to estimate how many and she said, "Oh god...lots.) lots. These ornaments tend to be fun, at least mine are. Hers are more sentimental that she made, or her grandmother made, or her cat made, or some such nonsense. Mine, on the other hand are pretty much all media tie-ins further proving that I am just another consumer, fully enveloped within our culture. So, all of that being said, here are some of my favorite ones.

Okay, so this may not really be an ornament, but I am still a big fan of it. This is actually a snow globe with the character Opus, from the comic strips Bloom County, and later Outland by Berkeley Breathed. The reason that I enjoy this one so much is largely because it is so counterposed to what I am used to in seasonal items. The fact that he has smashed through the globe, breaking the fourth wall of the world within the globe makes me giggle and I just thoroughly enjoy this lovable loser in this terrible predicament. For more info on this comic strip see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloom_County

As I mentioned earlier, I am a slave to the media tie-in ornaments. This one makes noise! I have always been a big fan of Star Wars and apparently feel like my ornaments should reflect this. The nice touch of the Snowspeeder flying around the legs really sealed it for me. I am a dork, but I enjoy it!

More media tie-ins! This one is of Rich Uncle Pennybags from the board game Monopoly one of my all time favorites. Brigitte refuses to play the game with me as she seems to think that I am being too competitive when I force her into bankruptcy instead of simply letting her slide by or giving her a loan. What does she think this is, Canada? This is America, and I am thrilled when I send my fellow players into bankruptcy. Enjoy the season...

An Opus ornament here. Something about the simplicity of this ornament really appeals to me. I imagine that if you were to read the comic strip, which you all should do, it is more endearing, but this one stands out to me as being most in line with the spirit of the holiday, even if it is something simple, non-Jesus related, and media driven. It's sweet.

I love The Simpsons. It is far and away my favorite television show. Before the DVD sets began appearing I had all of the episodes on tape, cataloged and prepared for repeat viewings (I had a spreadsheet with the time stamp of each episode on each tape for quick access). I also have quite a collection of the action figures, or toys as some may say, that have come out over the years. It is only natural that I would also have the Christmas ornaments. Brigitte keeps promising that next year we will have a "Simpsons tree" but alas, there was none this year. Something to look forward to.

Finally, this one is fun for me. When Brigitte was pregnant she would often walk past the Hallmark store in the mall (since she was a manager at another store there in the mall). She was amazed that this ornament was on sale for $1 and eventually decided that she couldn't pass up such a great offer. We were after all having a baby which would have its first Christmas. Better yet, her bedroom was going to have an overriding Pooh theme and this would be perfect for that. Eventually we had a bouncing baby girl and when her first Christmas rolled around Brigitte happily pulled out the ornament. Unfortunately, she had forgotten to take into account that our baby's 1st Christmas would be in 2005. The blocks here are off by a year. Ultimately, we got an ornament for the correct year, but we still hang this one up because, well, it's cute.

If you would like to see more of my ornaments feel free to check them out at:
http://flickr.com/photos/michaelbarnett/.

Enjoy the New Year!

Blogging the New Year

2007-12-30T15:08:00.001-06:00

So, I have come to the conclusion that I would like to be more active in my blogging. I think that I would personally like to document my thoughts on various items of interest to myself as well as share them with others. It is quite likely that these thoughts will be of more interest to me than you, the reader, but it is still a way to share something of myself with others.

I anticipate that the majority of the topics discussed in the coming year will include my new job, as a faculty member at a big ol' Southern University, music that I am listening to - my wife and I just got Zunes (cause we aren't cool enough to justify Ipods) for Christmas and are enjoying rediscovering music that we have not listened to in years (look for blogs regarding what's on the shuffle), Star Trek books, because I love reading them, and perhaps fatherhood. We'll see if I have thoughts on that last one that I care to document or not.

I may also discuss some work oriented research that I am conducting, or specific designs that I will be working on in the coming year. My goal is fairly simple, to blog once a week. I consider this my resolution for the coming year. I will do my best to accomplish this goal.

Merry Hanakwansas!

Quick Update on My Favorite Things

2007-09-01T15:47:00.000-05:00

First of all, let me say that it is too early to be up on a Saturday morning, over Labor Day weekend. However, we are back in Franklin, visiting family and Evelyn decided that if the sun was up at 7:00am, then she should be as well. Since my mother's house isn't very big Brigitte, Evelyn and I are all in the same room, so when she decides that she should be awake at 7:00am, that means I have to be as well because I sleep on the side of the bed next to the crib and she has long arms and the ability to throw stuffed animals on me as well as punch me in the leg and surrounding regions while yelling "Wake DADA!" over and over until I open my eyes or grunt or something. So, here I am an hour or so later writing this "quick" blog because...well, because today was my first day to sleep in in two weeks and I am awake.
Onto, the subject of the blog...
Well, first, a quick update on Oxford. I started work on August 13th with classes starting on the 20th. The students all seem to be pretty nice and I like the fact that I am back in an environment where everyone is on a first name basis, students and faculty, faculty and faculy, faculty and staff, etc. One of the most difficult transitions for me at TSU was the formality of it all. "Dr. This" and "Ms. That" and the students couldn't wrap their heads around the idea that I was the professor and not a Doctor. So, it's nice to walk through the halls with people calling me Michael instead of the undeserved "Dr. Barnett."
It has been a challenging two weeks as we are opening the season with a show in a newly renovated theatre that had the majority of its lighting budget cut (which means I have lights without the power to turn them on), so I've been scrambling to find a solution since we go into tech in less than two weeks. However, I like the people and generally come home exhausted but feeling good about the day.
Okay, the subject of the blog. A couple of weeks ago Brigitte, Evelyn and I were driving South on I-55 from Southaven, MS (a suburb of Memphis) back to Oxford. We were in Southaven because, even thought it is a little over an hour away, it is the closest Target to us, and Brigitte is a big fan of Target. We had driven up to print out some digital pictures and since we always preferred the print quality at Target to other locations we decided to make the trip. We get there and look around only to discover that they have no digital photo kiosk. So, that sucked. However, Southaven also has the closest Krystal, which we had for lunch, so it was not an entirely wasted trip.
On our way back from Southaven, having enjoyed a "Sackful" of Krystals and having been rejected at Target we see a sign for the town of Arkabutla, MS. Brigitte snickers and looks over at me to say "That place is named after two of your favorite things, Arkansas and the butt!" Then she proceeds to laugh uncontrollably.
Now, I have no love for Arkansas and as far as "the butt" goes, well...I think she must have been on a Krystal high. Yesterday as we were driving to Franklin Brigitte was still giggling at her "joke." I hope you enjoy it as much as she does.

Enjoy the sunrise!

Kwik-E-Mart

2007-08-01T15:51:00.000-05:00

Okay. So, I have been planning on writing a new blog about life in Oxford and how wonderful it is and how much we enjoy our new house and how Evelyn greatly prefers the half acre we now call home to the 10' x 12' patio that she previously had for a "yard." However, that crap can wait for another time.
Brigitte, Evelyn and I spent several days in Dallas last week visiting her family (as well as one day at her Uncle's ranch). If you know me I assume that you do not think of me and "Ranch" in the same sentence very often. However, once we actually got there I really enjoyed it. I do not know that I have ever seen that many stars in my life. It was very nice to go stand outside surrounded by 500 acres of nothing which is surrounded by countless more miles of essentially nothing. Lots of starts out that way. Brigitte wouldn't join me though becuase she is afraid of the dark...and it was dark there.
As nice as the ranch was, and as much fun as we all had seeing Brigitte's family, the best part of the trip was the 20 minutes I spent in the local 7-11. 20 minutes may sound like a long time, but when you are in one of the twelve 7-11s in the world that have been converted into Kwik-E-Marts to advertise the opening of The Simpson's Movie, well it goes by pretty quickly.
We drove by it accidentally and decided then that we would go back before we left Dallas. So, our last day in town Brigitte, Evelyn and I headed over with our silly expensive camera to take pictures of the 7-11. As you can see from my profile picture I had to problem standing out on Northwest Hwy. in a very busy part of Dallas having my picture taken with a gas station sign. Nor did I mind the confused looks I got by the various construction workers, doctors and other assorted individuals as I browsed the store taking pictures of every square inch of Simpsons goodness. I think that Brigitte probably got a bit embarrassed, but knew how much I was enjoying myself, so she let it go. We bought a Squishee for Evelyn and a case of "Buzz Cola" for myself to sit on some shelf that I do not currently own. Perhaps we can put it in the nice built in shelves that we have in the breakfast nook. I'm sure that Brigitte won't mind moving the nice glass pieces she has there.
Well, I will update on Oxford soon, but needed to let you all how much fun we had in 7-11 on Norhtwest Hwy. in the heart of Dallas. Gas stations are great!

Another blog?

2007-06-17T15:52:00.000-05:00

What's that you ask? Another blog? Already? But Michael, you may say, I haven't even taken the time to read the one you wrote yesterday. Well, do not fret dear reader (yes, I'm talking to you ... the one person who is reading this) I assure you that I have no intention of making a habit of this frequent posting. After all, I have no real interest in you all knowing what is actually going on in my life, much like you do not want me to know what is going on in yours (unless you are the one friend I have that actually blogs with any consistency ... Hi Ombra)!
So, yesterday when I realized that we were actually moving (the closing on our current abode is less than 18 hours away) I decided that it would be wise to gather some more boxes. I sent Brigitte to procure boxes from the local box supply place...some storage facility and she had come home with the most expensive boxes known to man. Well, that may be an exaggeration, but $2 per "Medium Sized" box seemed excessive to me. Therefore, I set out to find free boxes. A friend had tipped me off that Wal-Mart at 5:00am was the place to be for free boxes, but ... well, either I am very asleep, or wishing I was at that time, and it was 3:00pm and I needed to feel as though I had accomplished something. So, off I went.
I remembered that my grandfather had always told me, "If you ever need boxes, check the liquor store." We aren't much for prophetic statements in the family, but I remembered it. So, off I went to the local liquor store. I drove around back only to find a large trash bin. Well, I wasn't going to go in there. So, off I went to another local liquor store (there were three other that I could think of, but I went to the fanciest one). After several failed attempts at drivnig around back, because comemrcial parking lots can be confusing when you go behind the buildings, I found the back of the liquor store, and apparently the back of a Japanese restaurant. I also found a giant dumpster. This one was marked "Carboard Only," so I grumpily got out of the car and dove in. There I was at 4:00pm in the afternoon, 94 degrees, pouring over used cardboard boxes, weighing the merits of each. The Japanese chefs, cooks, line cooks, guys who cook ... looked at me like I had lost my mind. And perhaps, at that moment I had. I was feverishly tearing through the boxes throwing the best out onto the cement for moving to the car once I had extricated myself from the dumpster.
Finally, after several minutes of wondering how I was going to write what was in the black boxes I had pulled out, I got out of the dumpster and began to load the car. When I completed this task I looked over the hood of the car and saw that one of the gentlemen who worked at the restaurant was standing inside a small rectangular fenced in area behind the back of the store. There was grass and coming out of the grass were plants and herbs. In the middle of Cool Springs, a shopping mecca in suburban Nashville, there was a small 15' by 5' garden so that the restaurant could actually serve fresh produce. I was most impressed. By the look on his face, he was less impressed with my venture.
Tonight, having worked my way through half of the boxes I scavenged I have realized that they are too small and not too helpful. This means that I will likely be back in the dumpster tomorrow following the closing.
I have also come to the conclusion that I am glad that there is a little garden in the middle of the Cool Springs area in Franklin.
Finally, white gaff tape. That's how you label what's in the all black boxes.

Moving...It's About That Time

2007-06-16T15:53:00.000-05:00

As some of you, and by you I mean the 4 people who read this (and one of them is my wife), may have heard, Brigitte and I are moving to Oxford, MS for my new job at The University of Mississippi. We are pretty excited about the whole thing but will miss a lot about Franklin and the memories that we have made in our condo here.
It's hard to believe that we have only been married for three years (as of Tuesday the 19th). In those three years I got my first teaching gig at TSU, we had a daughter, most of our friends who were still in Franklin moved away and now we are finishing off the packing to get the hell out ourselves. Many of you know that I grew up in Franklin, so leaving again is much harder than I had anticipated. I have so many memories here both from my childhood, and now from my daughter's childhood that it is hard to leave those behind. When I look at our living room and see it filled with boxes I remember the first time Evelyn rolled over (the one first that I got to myself as Brigitte was at work - haha...yes I'm a bit competitive). But I also remember her first Christmas, Halloween and Birthday. I remember bringing her home from the hospital, setting her down in front of the staircase and the cats slinking up to sniff her. We don't have stairs in our new house. This is the first time that I will be moving where I am sad that I will never see the inside again.
Brigitte and I made a trip to Knoxville a year ago around our anniversary and looked at all of the old places we had lived and while it was good to see them I had no real desire to go back in. There were no clear memories that jumped out to me as something I needed to be in those rooms again. Even the memory of my friend Aaron setting his face on fire showing us how he could breathe fire on our back porch. There are lots of good memories like that, but nothing like this.
I know that we will make wonderful memories in our new house, but I find myself remarkably sentimental at the moment. On top of all of that, while the house we bought in Oxford, is bigger with a garage and a yard, I apparently like this place after all. It's going to be hard to leave it behind.

Watch Where You Are Going!

2007-02-19T15:53:00.000-06:00

Well, it is time for my quarterly blog. I feel a lot of pressure here. Perhaps if I blogged more often I would not feel the need to impress you, kind reader, with each entry. However, I remember long ago in my Freshman (High School) English class, Mrs. Steadman told us not to try to justify our work before we read it, and I think the same should hold true before I write it, so...onwards...
Tonight Evelyn, my daughter for those of you who have not met her and have failed to take the appropriate time to read the "About Me" section of my MySpace page, had a bit of a fall and subsequently has a nice big long bruise running down the right side of her face. I imagine that it looks much worse than it feels since she was dancing along to "The Backyardigans" within 20 minutes of her fall. When Evelyn gets excited she has a propensity to start running in the general direction she wants to go without looking where it is that she is heading. I am not sure if she believes that she has the ability to run in a straight line, something that I cannot do, or if she simply thinks that the chairs, tables, stairs, cats will get out of her way when she gets close enough. This often results in her going from giggling as she runs to suddenly finding herself on the floor unsure of how she got there. More often than not she will pick herself up, assess the situation and continue to run, again without looking behind her. Tonight was the exception with her actually getting hurt and causing a great deal of anxiety for her parents. She wasn't too happy about this either.
As some of you are aware, I am currently in the middle of a fairly extensive job search, sending out applications to just about every opening that I could find a posting for. For the most part, the search has gone pretty well so far. I have had phone interviews with three schools and believe that I will have another one coming up soon. I also have been asked to come in for on-site interviews for the three colleges that I have spoken to, so I am pretty excited that these people are pretty interested in me. However, as I sit here typing this blog (read: procrastinating from getting ready for my first interview a week from today), I wonder if I have been doing exactly what Evelyn does. I have been so focused on simply getting a more secure position that I have been somewhat blindly throwing my resume out there to see if it will stick. I am excited by the prospect of interviewing with each of these schools, but wonder if I am running along laughing and am about to trip and fall and smash my knees up.
I certainly am not complaining about these possibilities, I just am not sure that I want to work at these schools. Have I been so eager to get a secure job, any job, that I have forgotten to look where I am going?
As I set off on my two week jaunt around the country, with stops in Florida, California and Mississippi (okay, I know I'm missing some parts of the country, but still...) I am going to do my best to watch where I run because the worst thing that can happen would be to move my family somewhere smiling and laughing and suddenly find ourselves on the floor wondering how we got there.

Enjoy asteroid preparedness!

Wouldn't that have been embarassing if I had worn my mohawk tonight?

2006-09-24T15:54:00.000-05:00

So, I figured three and a half months between blogs was long enough to create a desire for more from my loyal readers (I'm talking to you Nathan).
Last Wednesday Brigitte and I went to see a band, Muse, perform at a smallish venue here in Nashville. It was basically a large ballroom with a capacity of around 1600. I did not expect much of a turnout for the event, but I ended up being surprised by how many people were fans of the band.
For those of you unfamiliar with Muse, I refer to them disparagingly as "Radiohead Lite" which infuriates Brigitte, but makes me giggle. If you like Radiohead and simply can't wait for new material, check out Muse and you'll feel like you are listening to a great Radiohead cover band that plays all of their songs badly because you don't recognize any of them...
Some background info on the concert...
When Brigitte was pregnant we had tickets to see Muse at an even smaller venue in Nashville but ended up not going due to concerns of the smoky environment and loud music and what that could possibly do to the baby. Therefore, when she heard they were coming back I simply could not say no (somehow going to see "The Incredibles" the night we were supposed to see Muse the first night did not satiate her desire to see them). Brigitte made me get up at the awful hour of 10:00am (I was in my summer sleep schedule at the time which meant that I went to bed between the hours of 6:00-7:00am) to get the advance order tickets only available to the three fans Muse has in the Nashville area. So, up I got, groggily stumbled upstairs to the computer and hurriedly tried to get in first (as far as I know, I was the only one to buy these advanced tickets) before the other two people sobered up. I was successful.
Onto the show...
Brigitte insisted that we leave an hour and a half early so we could get good "seats." It is important that you understand that due to our devotion the tickets that we were "lucky" enough to get were the general admission floor tickets...it was a large dance floor. Therefore, by getting there early, we ensured that we would be close enough to be surrounded by other sweaty, smelly individuals who did not have any concern for their feet or the actual sound quality of the performance (there were seats available in the balcony...they looked very cushy and they had people to help you to those seats with their fancy flashlights but they weren't available for pre-order because ceratinly the three of us who pre-ordered wouldn't want to sit while rocking).
We arrived in time to be able to easily spit on the band which I was promptly reminded that I was not allowed to do. We proceeded to stand there, uncomfortbaly, for an hour waiting for something to happen.
While we were waiting I noticed that the majority of the people who were filtering into this non-smoking environment were between the ages of "just hit puberty" to "just hit the age where I can legally get as drunk as I want, regardless of what my parents say about it." I was excited...
As it grew closer to the time for the opening band, The Likes, to come out and beg us not to hate them the venue began to play a lot of loud music which I did not know. Some members of the audience sang along, others talked loudly about how "awesome" it was that they had cell phone reception in the venue so they could continue to send text messages to their friends that I imagine went something like, "Dude! U wont believe what I did today. I got totally trashed and missed class. Dude! That prof is totally the suxors!"
Suddenly, in the middle of their message some obnoxious song came pumping through the speakers that everyone around us began to sing along to. I looked left and right and every person in the vicinity was nodding in agreement that this song rocked and that is was important that they sing along. Neither Brigitte nor I knew the song and I knew that I was in for a long evening.
After The Likes limped off stage (they actually weren't that bad) the audience began to buzz with anticipation of Muse appearing. After 30 minutes the buzz intensified...then weakened. It grew again 40 minutes after the opening band left stage ... then weakened. A full 57 minutes after the opening band left the stage Muse decided to grace us with their appearance.
Now, my thoughts on this are as follows: If it takes you 57 minutes to accomplish a change over, perhaps you should skip the opening band and not make your audience wait so long...
Muse began playing. They were loud and everyone sang along (except me...the sound was so bad that even the songs I recognized I couldn't comprehend). I was pretty close to deaf at the end of the show and between the crowd surfers and the psuedo mosh pit that sprung up near the end of the show I was in a pretty foul mood. However, I tried to put on a smile becuase I knew that Brigitte had had a good time.
To my surprise, on the way back to the car Brigitte yelled (because we were both deaf), that she didn't think that she needed to see them again. I asked why and she said that she thought that she had outgrown the "scene." I agreed. Somewhere between the age of 25 and 28 I seem to have gotten very old. The music was too loud, the sound quality was unbearable, the kids around us were obnoxious and my feet hurt.
I'm not sure how, or when this occurred. When we were living in Tallahassee, Brigitte and I went down to Orlando to see The White Stripes (another band she adores that I could do without). However, I genuinely had a good time, in spite of the way too drunk lesbian standing next to me who kept trying to burn me with her cigarette as she swayed along to the calming sound of "Seven Nation Army." While it was loud and filled with alcoholics, it was still fun. This show was not.
Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that I have officially grown up. I don't know when it happened and I'm not sure that I like it. When I saw the crowd surfers and the mosh pit my only thoughts were, "Oh, these kids don't know what it was really like back in the day," followed by anger that they were upsetting the show for me by thinking that I wanted their feet and / or butt in my face (literally) so that I could somehow assist them in having a good time.
My concert going days may be over. Or maybe I will simply have to hold out for the next Simon and Garfunkel Reunion tour. I imagine that I won't have to yell to talk to Brigitte when it is over.
Enjoy Arugula ... because that spinach will kill you!

I promised infrequent posts...

2006-06-10T15:55:00.000-05:00

So, since I promised infrequency and have now fulfilled it I will post some random thoughts...

I am currently designing Sizwe Bansi is Dead, by Athol Fugard, at TSU and having a really good time doing it. It has been quite some time since I have had to serve as my own Master Electrician and it has been nice to get my hands dirty again. That being said, I look forward to being able to just be a designer again sometime in the future...

I recently read a news report that the re-launch of the Batgirl comic book is imminent and the major news regarding this is that the character is to be a lesbian. Apparently the character will be involved with a character from another comic. The thing that stuck out to me about this is that I am afraid that this is simply an example of sensationalism. While the comic industry has often been ahead of the times in terms of societal standards and accepted practices, this strikes me as simply trying to cash in on the notion that many young men (the primary readers of comic books) are fascinated with the notion of lesbian sex. I would like to believe that this is a step forward in homosexuals being accepted in our society, but I fear that it is simply another example of exploitation.

Apparently Michael Moore is being sued by a soldier who was featured in his film Fahrenheit 9/11. Moore used footage of an interview with this soldier (who lost both of his arms) in the film, although the interview was originally conducted by one of the major networks. Moore edited the interview to make it seem that this officer was upset with the handling of the situation and was being critical of the President in terms of the war effort. In the complete footage he says the exact opposite of this. I teach my students about ethical persuasion practices and this is a perfect example of unethical practices. While I understand that Michael Moore's films are propaganda, I assumed that he was as honest as possible in his choices. Whether I agree with all of his thoughts, which I often do not, I had respected his ability to create good arguments without resorting to the half-truths, or flat out lies of so many of our politicians. Apparently that faith was misplaced. I am disappointed.

If you enjoy Kevin Smith movies, check out Silent Bob Speaks. It was a quick read, and I was able to get through it in a day, so if you want to check it out, consider your local library.

I got the most amusing rejection letter in the mail today. While I knew that I was underqualified for the position I applied for, I decided to apply anyway ("nothing ventured, nothing gained"). When I found out who else had applied for the job I knew that I had no real shot (because I knew who they were, and no one in the industry has any reason to know who I am...yet). However, even with this knowledge I had to laugh at the rejection "letter." Previous rejection letters that I have received have certainly been form letters, but they were polite and to the point. One even mentioned specific things about me (after the form part). This "letter" was a postcard that had five choices of why I wasn't hired, with the check next to something along the lines of "We have hired someone else for the position you applied for." A POSTCARD with check boxes! At least send me a form letter in an envelope. I spent some time getting together an application for your position, the least you could do is use an envelope. I will try to scan the postcard and post it here for your enjoyment.

Evelyn is starting to walk. She is getting around pretty well and she is very proud of herself. We are proud as well.

Enjoy job hunting!

"Why can't you mix fashion with dental school?"

2006-05-31T15:55:00.000-05:00

My first thought was that the girl who said this on Style Network's "How Do I Look?" was a complete moron. Her sister had apparently lost her fashion sense after entering med school and her sister felt as though she had lost her friend now that she was always in the library and wearing blue scrubs instead of being the "fashionista" that she used to be. I'm not a huge fan of fashion, big surprise I know, so my first reaction was that this girl should shut up, get over herself and find some real priorities.

Then I started to actually consider her question. Why must we focus entirely on one aspect of our lives at the expense of others? More specifically, why must I? I know that there are those out there who are able to separate their lives into categories and when they are at work they are at work and when at home they are 100t home. I have never been that way. Since the birth of Evelyn I have been working on it. I try to leave work at work, but there are days when I am simply incapable of it, either because I have to get stuff graded, I have to get the show designed or I am simply too mad at my students to do so.

I seem to have picked up on this flaw early on. In college I pursued a major that would let me take whatever classes I wanted so I wouldn't have to take extraneous courses outside of the English or Theatre departments. No Gen Ed courses for me. No more Math, Foreign Language. I didn't take anything that I, in the infinite wisdom of a 19-21 year old, thought that I needed. Certainly I had other interests, but I ignored them because I thought that if I didn't focus entirely on my field then I would not be successful. I subsequently advise my students to be as rounded as possible in their education. This line of thought extended beyond classes though. One of the major problems that Brigitte and I had was that I would always put work, meaning whatever show I was working on at the time, ahead of us. I would often be at the theatre until 3:00-4:00am working on a student production. While I certainly enjoyed working this way, it did nothing positive for our relationship. I was unable to categorize my life. I could only focus on one thing at a time.

In graduate school I wasn't much better, although it often went the other way. I ignored options for possible summer work because I wanted to spend that time with Brigitte. I would put off my homework until the last minute and stay up all night working once Brigitte was asleep. I think that, in part, I was trying to make up for the first part of our relationship. When in production I would simply not be home. I would stay at the theatre until 3:00am arguing with the director about whether or not his "vision" was coming across when I knew that Brigitte was waiting for me at home. It just wasn't at the forefront of my mind.

I have been thinking about applying for Law School for the last six months. I've always had an interest in the law and may have even pursued this before now if I hadn't been so single minded. However, I am worried that I won't be able to dedicate myself to my job, my wife, my daughter and school all at once. It is a failing of mine.

I have friends who are able to look into their future and say, "I want to be an expert in Ancient Near East Studies, have an MFA in Directing, a Master of Arts in Letters and maybe I'll throw some Law School into it." They will undoubtedly excel at all of them. Which brings me back to this silly girl's question, "Why can't you mix fashion with dental school?" I wish I knew the answer.

Enjoy Project Runway!

The Man Whose Arms Exploded

2006-05-28T15:56:00.000-05:00

Having a child is really beginning to change my perspective on the media. I have always despised a great deal of the media, but having a child has made it worse. Now, I am aware that all of the books that I read, as well as the American Pediatrics Association, have recommended that children shouldn't watch any television before they are two years old, but even at that point what are they to watch? There is nothing on that is suitable for children outside of the strictly childrens programming. However, how can I possibly censor everything that she watches once she is old enough to purposefully change the channel (she already changes it now, but not intentionally, as far as I can tell).

I am currently watching the The Learning Channel, which I would have assumed was educational on some level, but as it turns out, is disgusting. The show I am watching is "The Man Whose Arms Exploded." He had 28 inch biceps. That's big. Cautionary tale? Perhaps. Gross negligence in story telling? Almost certainly. They are focusing almost entirely on the awful physical trauma he endured and I have seen a whole lot of blood so far due to his hematoma. Normally, I might have thought this would be an interesting channel to watch, but now I am thinking that this will be a fruitless exercise. Evelyn will not be able to watch anything at all...ever. Even cartoons have lost their innocence. Other than those shows which are focused entirely on the kids under two (who aren't supposed to be watching television anyway), the other shows are all so focused on being funny to adults that they seem to have lost their purity and I am concerned that perhaps they are too adult for her. The only other stuff I have found out there are shows like "Play With Me Sesame" which are so incredibly politically correct that I can't stand to watch it. Perhaps when Evelyn is old enough to watch these shows I will feel differently.

I am also sad to say that of all the music I listen to only Bob Dylan and They Might Be Giants are really fit for youth consumption (and Bob Dylan would almost certainly bore her to tears...literally). Every single band that I listen to, and that Brigitte listens to, uses foul language, or discusses inappropriate themes. I used to think that I would let my daughter listen to, or watch anything that she wanted. There was no reason to shelter her from the world. The earlier she is exposed to the world, the sooner she can acclimate to it and become de-sensitized. This is before I had a daughter. I find myself questioning my own choices and am trying to rationalize why I feel compelled to listen to and enjoy music, television, movies that I do not think are appropriate for her. If they aren't good enough for her, why are they good enough for me?

Finally, Brigitte and I were sitting down last night looking through MySpace (since I just started up the account) and she turns to me and says "We are definitely having our computer in the living room." We have previously argued over how much privacy to allow Evelyn when she is older, specifically as it pertains to computer usage. I grew up in an environment where I was pretty free to do what I wanted, when I wanted. This made me very self-reliant and stronger in many ways. Brigitte had a lot more restrictions which led her to rebel against those restrictions when she got to college. We still have no idea what the best approach is (and probably never will), but after seeing the people who suddenly want to be my friend because I signed up on the site (people who incidentally have Free Live Cams) or even some of the comments that we find on other people's spaces, we are starting to think that perhaps it will be later rather than sooner that we allow her to have this kind of freedom.

I tend to be socially liberal. I am confused by the things that I am feeling and experiencing, and my daughter isnt even 14 months old yet. I don't want to hide her from the reality that she lives in, but I also feel compelled to shape that reality into something that is more palatable to me.

Enjoy The Wiggles!

As promised...

2006-05-27T15:57:00.000-05:00

My main thought today deals with the fact that my daughter, Evelyn, really likes to say the word Dada. My wife, Brigitte, is convinced that this has something to do with her undying affection of me. However, I tend to think that it has more to do with the fact that I have been berating Evelyn with the word from the moment that the nurse put her in my arms at the hospital. To substantiate this claim I use as evidence the fact that she does in fact point at me and says "Dada." However, she also feels compelled to point at our two cats, Ziggy and Zoidberg, and yell "Dada." We will walk through the grocery store and she will see a balloon of Blue from "Blue's Clues" and scream "Dada." She will find a piece of dirt on the floor and proclaim proudly "Dada." Finally, she will poop in her wonderful diapers, look up at the television, which is inexplicably tuned in to "Dora the Explorer" and clearly state, "Dada." You tell me. Does she know that I am dada, or have I simply succeeded in stunting her growth and damaging her long term by limiting her vocabulary to essentially one word and some simple noises?

Incidentally, did you know that Blue from "Blue's Clues" is a female dog. I understand that we live in an age where people are trying to break down gender roles and all of the books that I read on parenting discuss the importance of not raising your children with the idea of gender limitations intact, but shouldn't the female dog be pink? A baby blue dog should be a boy dog. I am greatly confused and disturbed. I have also decided that I hate almost all children's television. However, I have found a certain appreciation for a show titled "The Backyardigans" where these young, things...various animals run around pretending that they are something other than humanized animals and yell out "SOCCER!!!" when they are trying to be a "soccer monster." This leads to me wandering around the children's section of Barnes and Noble with a "Pablo" plush toy in my hand yelling "SOCCER!!!" much to my wife's chagrin.

Enjoy Journey. Don't Stop Believin'!

The Blogging Begins!

2006-05-27T14:00:00.001-05:00

So, after due consideration and lengthy meditation on the subject, which is to say that I decided I enjoyed reading my friends blogs, I have decided to give it a shot myself. I can guarantee you absolutely zero percent:

humor
insight
entertainment
engagement

However, I can promise:

infrequent postings
rambling
a general sense of unease with the notion that you, kind reader, will be judging my every thought and word

I take some solace in the notion that there will most likely be very few of you reading this at all. Therefore, with all of this in mind, my career in blogging begins. My thoughts will be random with no cohesive through line and will range in topic from work, family, music, politics, religion and most likely a good helping of what is wrong with childrens toys these days. Something along the lines of: Back in my day childrens toys didnt have to make so much god-awful noise

So, sit back, grab a beverage of your choice, take a sip and you will most likely be done with my thoughts.

Enjoy!