"Why can't you mix fashion with dental school?"

My first thought was that the girl who said this on Style Network's "How Do I Look?" was a complete moron. Her sister had apparently lost her fashion sense after entering med school and her sister felt as though she had lost her friend now that she was always in the library and wearing blue scrubs instead of being the "fashionista" that she used to be. I'm not a huge fan of fashion, big surprise I know, so my first reaction was that this girl should shut up, get over herself and find some real priorities.

Then I started to actually consider her question. Why must we focus entirely on one aspect of our lives at the expense of others? More specifically, why must I? I know that there are those out there who are able to separate their lives into categories and when they are at work they are at work and when at home they are 100t home. I have never been that way. Since the birth of Evelyn I have been working on it. I try to leave work at work, but there are days when I am simply incapable of it, either because I have to get stuff graded, I have to get the show designed or I am simply too mad at my students to do so.

I seem to have picked up on this flaw early on. In college I pursued a major that would let me take whatever classes I wanted so I wouldn't have to take extraneous courses outside of the English or Theatre departments. No Gen Ed courses for me. No more Math, Foreign Language. I didn't take anything that I, in the infinite wisdom of a 19-21 year old, thought that I needed. Certainly I had other interests, but I ignored them because I thought that if I didn't focus entirely on my field then I would not be successful. I subsequently advise my students to be as rounded as possible in their education. This line of thought extended beyond classes though. One of the major problems that Brigitte and I had was that I would always put work, meaning whatever show I was working on at the time, ahead of us. I would often be at the theatre until 3:00-4:00am working on a student production. While I certainly enjoyed working this way, it did nothing positive for our relationship. I was unable to categorize my life. I could only focus on one thing at a time.

In graduate school I wasn't much better, although it often went the other way. I ignored options for possible summer work because I wanted to spend that time with Brigitte. I would put off my homework until the last minute and stay up all night working once Brigitte was asleep. I think that, in part, I was trying to make up for the first part of our relationship. When in production I would simply not be home. I would stay at the theatre until 3:00am arguing with the director about whether or not his "vision" was coming across when I knew that Brigitte was waiting for me at home. It just wasn't at the forefront of my mind.

I have been thinking about applying for Law School for the last six months. I've always had an interest in the law and may have even pursued this before now if I hadn't been so single minded. However, I am worried that I won't be able to dedicate myself to my job, my wife, my daughter and school all at once. It is a failing of mine.

I have friends who are able to look into their future and say, "I want to be an expert in Ancient Near East Studies, have an MFA in Directing, a Master of Arts in Letters and maybe I'll throw some Law School into it." They will undoubtedly excel at all of them. Which brings me back to this silly girl's question, "Why can't you mix fashion with dental school?" I wish I knew the answer.

Enjoy Project Runway!

The Man Whose Arms Exploded

Having a child is really beginning to change my perspective on the media. I have always despised a great deal of the media, but having a child has made it worse. Now, I am aware that all of the books that I read, as well as the American Pediatrics Association, have recommended that children shouldn't watch any television before they are two years old, but even at that point what are they to watch? There is nothing on that is suitable for children outside of the strictly childrens programming. However, how can I possibly censor everything that she watches once she is old enough to purposefully change the channel (she already changes it now, but not intentionally, as far as I can tell).

I am currently watching the The Learning Channel, which I would have assumed was educational on some level, but as it turns out, is disgusting. The show I am watching is "The Man Whose Arms Exploded." He had 28 inch biceps. That's big. Cautionary tale? Perhaps. Gross negligence in story telling? Almost certainly. They are focusing almost entirely on the awful physical trauma he endured and I have seen a whole lot of blood so far due to his hematoma. Normally, I might have thought this would be an interesting channel to watch, but now I am thinking that this will be a fruitless exercise. Evelyn will not be able to watch anything at all...ever. Even cartoons have lost their innocence. Other than those shows which are focused entirely on the kids under two (who aren't supposed to be watching television anyway), the other shows are all so focused on being funny to adults that they seem to have lost their purity and I am concerned that perhaps they are too adult for her. The only other stuff I have found out there are shows like "Play With Me Sesame" which are so incredibly politically correct that I can't stand to watch it. Perhaps when Evelyn is old enough to watch these shows I will feel differently.

I am also sad to say that of all the music I listen to only Bob Dylan and They Might Be Giants are really fit for youth consumption (and Bob Dylan would almost certainly bore her to tears...literally). Every single band that I listen to, and that Brigitte listens to, uses foul language, or discusses inappropriate themes. I used to think that I would let my daughter listen to, or watch anything that she wanted. There was no reason to shelter her from the world. The earlier she is exposed to the world, the sooner she can acclimate to it and become de-sensitized. This is before I had a daughter. I find myself questioning my own choices and am trying to rationalize why I feel compelled to listen to and enjoy music, television, movies that I do not think are appropriate for her. If they aren't good enough for her, why are they good enough for me?

Finally, Brigitte and I were sitting down last night looking through MySpace (since I just started up the account) and she turns to me and says "We are definitely having our computer in the living room." We have previously argued over how much privacy to allow Evelyn when she is older, specifically as it pertains to computer usage. I grew up in an environment where I was pretty free to do what I wanted, when I wanted. This made me very self-reliant and stronger in many ways. Brigitte had a lot more restrictions which led her to rebel against those restrictions when she got to college. We still have no idea what the best approach is (and probably never will), but after seeing the people who suddenly want to be my friend because I signed up on the site (people who incidentally have Free Live Cams) or even some of the comments that we find on other people's spaces, we are starting to think that perhaps it will be later rather than sooner that we allow her to have this kind of freedom.

I tend to be socially liberal. I am confused by the things that I am feeling and experiencing, and my daughter isnt even 14 months old yet. I don't want to hide her from the reality that she lives in, but I also feel compelled to shape that reality into something that is more palatable to me.

Enjoy The Wiggles!

As promised...

My main thought today deals with the fact that my daughter, Evelyn, really likes to say the word Dada. My wife, Brigitte, is convinced that this has something to do with her undying affection of me. However, I tend to think that it has more to do with the fact that I have been berating Evelyn with the word from the moment that the nurse put her in my arms at the hospital. To substantiate this claim I use as evidence the fact that she does in fact point at me and says "Dada." However, she also feels compelled to point at our two cats, Ziggy and Zoidberg, and yell "Dada." We will walk through the grocery store and she will see a balloon of Blue from "Blue's Clues" and scream "Dada." She will find a piece of dirt on the floor and proclaim proudly "Dada." Finally, she will poop in her wonderful diapers, look up at the television, which is inexplicably tuned in to "Dora the Explorer" and clearly state, "Dada." You tell me. Does she know that I am dada, or have I simply succeeded in stunting her growth and damaging her long term by limiting her vocabulary to essentially one word and some simple noises?

Incidentally, did you know that Blue from "Blue's Clues" is a female dog. I understand that we live in an age where people are trying to break down gender roles and all of the books that I read on parenting discuss the importance of not raising your children with the idea of gender limitations intact, but shouldn't the female dog be pink? A baby blue dog should be a boy dog. I am greatly confused and disturbed. I have also decided that I hate almost all children's television. However, I have found a certain appreciation for a show titled "The Backyardigans" where these young, things...various animals run around pretending that they are something other than humanized animals and yell out "SOCCER!!!" when they are trying to be a "soccer monster." This leads to me wandering around the children's section of Barnes and Noble with a "Pablo" plush toy in my hand yelling "SOCCER!!!" much to my wife's chagrin.

Enjoy Journey. Don't Stop Believin'!

The Blogging Begins!

So, after due consideration and lengthy meditation on the subject, which is to say that I decided I enjoyed reading my friends blogs, I have decided to give it a shot myself. I can guarantee you absolutely zero percent:

• humor
• insight
• entertainment
• engagement

However, I can promise:

• infrequent postings
• rambling
• a general sense of unease with the notion that you, kind reader, will be judging my every thought and word

I take some solace in the notion that there will most likely be very few of you reading this at all. Therefore, with all of this in mind, my career in blogging begins. My thoughts will be random with no cohesive through line and will range in topic from work, family, music, politics, religion and most likely a good helping of what is wrong with childrens toys these days. Something along the lines of: Back in my day childrens toys didnt have to make so much god-awful noise

So, sit back, grab a beverage of your choice, take a sip and you will most likely be done with my thoughts.

Enjoy!